Okay, I’ve seen several examples of ridiculousresearch” studies, and while this is by far not the dumbest – it is funny.

Scientists Reveal the Perfect Handshake

I particularly like the resulting formula:

PH = ??? (e2 + ve2)(d2) + (cg + dr)2 + ??{(42)(42)}2 + (vi + t + te)2 + {(42 )(42)}2

(e) is eye contact (1=none; 5=direct) 5; (ve) is verbal greeting (1=totally inappropriate; 5=totally appropriate) 5; (d) is Duchenne smile – smiling in eyes and mouth, plus symmetry on both sides of face, and slower offset (1=totally non-Duchenne smile (false smile); 5=totally Duchenne) 5; (cg) completeness of grip (1=very incomplete; 5=full) 5; (dr) is dryness of hand (1=damp; 5=dry) 4; (s) is strength (1= weak; 5=strong) 3; (p) is position of hand (1=back towards own body; 5=other person’s bodily zone) 3; (vi) is vigour (1=too low/too high; 5=mid) 3; (t) is temperature of hands (1=too cold/too hot; 5=mid) 3; (te) is texture of hands (5=mid; 1=too rough/too smooth) 3; © is control (1=low; 5=high) 3; (du) is duration (1= brief; 5=long) 3.

Really? That’s all there is to it? Awesome. Okay, I think I’ve got it now, thanks.

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